Its been 4 months since my DNF at the Falls 100 due to injury. I have done so much soul searching and self talk during these last months that I am sick of listening to myself . ( yea , I laughed when I typed that ). I still have negative self talk but if you don’t want to hear it , don’t ask about the race. Its emotionally painful to look at pictures from last year so I don’t . I am looking forward and taking what I learned and hope to do better this time around. I did ( at the suggestion of Susan Donnelly , pretty well know ultra marathoner ) write down my play by play of each loop. This would give me some feedback on what to change this year.
I had a full year 2020 of races and most were going to be races that are really training runs. I have found that if I sprinkle fun races with some challenges , I stay focused. Now with our global pandemic , COVID -19 , everything is up in the air as far as racing . My 2 big goal races , the Breaks in Sept and the Falls 100 – 100 miler in Dec , are both pretty difficult courses . One course I know quiet well and the other just scares me . Honestly , they both scare me quite a bit for different reasons .
The Breaks is a 45ish mile race that runs through Breaks Interstate Park . It boasts some wicked elevation and potential high river crossings that will test me beyond my comfort zone. I signed up for this right at the end of my training last year for Falls . Needless to say , I was feeling pretty confident at that point with training and my nutrition . I do question my decision now that I have not finished a 100 mile race but its a little late now . What I do know is that I will need to work on my climbing speed and my recovery from the steep relentless climbs . I need to be able to pull my heart rate back down to a tolerable level so I can start running . I will be faced with some cut -off times that , right now , I am not sure I could make with my current speed on the hills and trails.
The Falls just scares me because I am heading back . I know the course and how it felt each lap . I remember the darkness and cold and that was rough . I get to that 6th lap and I remember every painful mile . I have that weird feeling of letting people down if I dont finish . Pretty sure that is my lack of confidence right now . That will be hard to get past but I am optimistic that different training will help me with that . I will have my husband Armin at the end of each loop as my crew but right now I am not planning on a pacer . Quite honestly I have had some offers but it is too soon to say that I want one . I have this deep feeling that I want to do this alone but time will tell if I change my mind . I might want to try to go it solo .
For now , I have enlisted the help of a running coach to guide me to a better plan of attack . I felt pretty good last year but obviously I made mistakes that cost me my race . I am hoping I can get my mental edge back too . I will need this edge for both big races , assuming racing season resumes , as they both will challenge me differently. I am also working with a nutrition coach for accountability and guidance on nutrition . I feel the need to check all the boxes and do everything I can to be my best self for this year .
I am hopeful we will have some races in 2020 but this is such a tumultuous year. I will continue to stay the course with training as if I am racing all of my races that are in the fall .
JanuaryRunr11 